Honestly...

I believe in being honest with my children. So, before this photo was snapped I told Quinlan that he looked like a dork with his sweatshirt tucked into his shorts (I didn't say anything about his ears being pushed around by his hat). Now, of course, he wishes that he had listened to me. But honesty has its limits.
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Now if every mom is honest with herself she will admit that she is not completely honest with her children. How can she be? It may not be in the best interest of our children to be completely honest.

First, there are the fun lies we tell--the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny, Santa. These are lies we tell to bring joy to our children. These lies can also be used to help keep kids in line--why would the tooth fairy want a tooth that hadn't been properly brushed and flossed?

Then there are probabilistic lies. These are the lies we tell that might be true--fruit is candy that God made, all the good vitamins are in the bread crust, you grow when you sleep. (Evan really took that last one to heart and maybe it is true, the boy could sleep and grow.)

But I was opposed to telling my boys outright lies. So when we went to the doctor to get shots and they would ask, "is it going to hurt?" I would answer honestly, "yes." Naturally I would reassure them that the pain would go away and that the shot was less painful than the decease it would protect them from.

When Evan asked, after watching a Viagra commercial, "What is ED?" I told him. Then when he asked why that would be a problem, I told him that, too. We both felt a bit awkward, but it was honest.

When Quinlan was in fourth grade and testing revealed he was reading at a second-grade level, he asked, "Am I stupid?" I said, "No, you are two years behind other kids in reading and you are ahead of other kids in other things." Then I explained, "it means that when you are 42 you will be reading like a 40 year old, not a big deal." A probabilistic lie? No, honest.

When Evan was in the sixth grade he was reading significantly above his grade level. He wanted to slack off on his daily reading. He said, "I'm already a good reader." I said, "Sure, you are a pretty good reader for a 12 year old. But you are a lousy reader for a 40 year old. So get your butt in your room and read." Honest.