Privacy Please

All mothers know that the onset of motherhood means an end to privacy. My abandonment of privacy began in the hospital labor and delivery room. It was August, I was hot and extremely pregnant, and even a light bed sheet seemed too much. But that is another story entirely.

Soon after giving birth to my first son, I tried to breast feed him. But my boy didn't know how to suck (isn't that an instinct?). Our failure resulted in strangers touching my breast to help my son and me get things figured out. Okay, the strangers were employed by the hospital--but that did not change the fact that I was sitting in my bed, holding my son, bare chested, and letting a woman I had only just met grab me.

So once Evan could crawl, I never pottied alone. If I was in the potty, so was Evan. I got used to it, but at some point I realized that it had to stop. I mean, there must be an age where it is inappropriate for a boy to follow his mother into the bathroom.

One Thanksgiving the entire family and extended family were gather at my parents' house for a pleasant meal. I snuck away from the festivities to go potty. Naturally Evan, who was three or so, followed me into the bathroom.

As I sat on the toilet doing my deal, Evan said "Mom, you can go pee without a penis?"

"Yes, son, I can" I declared.

"How can you go pee without a peeeeeenis?" He asked.

"I just can." I really wasn't intereseted in providing more of an explanation than that.

I thought I was off the hook when he said, "huh."

But while I was still in the bathroom putting myself back together, I heard Evan announce to the entire family, "My mom can go pee without a penis!" It was the most perfectly clear and articulate sentence he had ever uttered in his young life.