Have You Heard the One About ... ?

You know that really bad racist joke that describes how stupid folks from a particular race lock their keys in their car--with their family in it? Well, it is not funny to tell racist jokes. It is really not funny when you are living it; when you are being the example of stupidity. Only it was much worse...my family had the chicken pox. I pray my race and gender will forgive me!

It was the heat of the summer. I was still working on my undergraduate degree in mathematics and I had a final scheduled on a typically hot, Nevada day, in July. Evan was three and Quinlan was just 18 months old. They both had chicken pox. They looked sad and pathetic.

That summer I had worked out my child-care needs with my mother-in-law (who does truly deserve a mother-of-the-year award!). I pulled into the driveway, turned off the engine, got out of the car, locked it using the door-lock button on the door, shut the door, and realized that I had locked my keys in the car--with my sick children. Naturally, all the windows were up since just before I turned off the engine the air conditioning was running.

It quickly got hot and Evan began to cry. I yelled through the closed window, "get out of your car seat and unlock the door."

Evan, through sad tears, said, "Mommy, get me out."

But I couldn't. It turns out that in my zeal to ensure complete travel safety, I had failed to teach my child how to escape from his car seat (a skill I didn't have to teach Houdini Quinlan).

It was as if I could sit there and watch the little pox break out on their sad, sweaty faces. I called my husband who came over from work to unlock the doors. It took him just a few minutes, but by that time, both the boys had broken out into a sweat and a screaming fit. I dabbed them off and tried to settle them down so I could leave them.

Needless to say, I was late for my final. I picked up the test and took my seat without explanation. I decided that there was no way for me to explain to my professor that I was smart enough to pass his mathematics class, but too stupid to be a mother.